i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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