okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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