i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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