Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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