I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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