I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
