Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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