The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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