So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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