we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
