I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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