yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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