Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
