I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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