you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
