She announced her abortion via fbk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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