Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I believe in your delicious
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
