Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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