you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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