dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
