just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize