so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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