I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
