Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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