So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
