Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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