We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
