I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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