i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
