What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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