i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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