I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
