This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
what day is it and did you see me today?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This house was built for laser tag.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
