is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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