Your mouth is God's brothel.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
