I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
