Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
