imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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