I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
