try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just google imaged poop.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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