Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
