so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
