People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it hurts more in the daytime
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
