fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize