"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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