So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
