Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
