he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
