She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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