He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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