Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
