"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
