So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
