you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize