nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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