me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
