So drunk its hurt
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
