I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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