so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
