A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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