Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
